On a recent Sunday afternoon Best Beloved and I decided we would go for a bike ride on a nearby rail trail. Which is a straight forward undertaking since we have purchased a bike guide to all the bike trails in Massachusetts. Then there was the added benefit that the trail was only a few miles from our house. So with smiles we set off to enjoy the mid-autumn fair weather.
We drove along Rt. 12 convinced that we could follow the directions in the guide book. After all between us we have about over a decade of tertiary education. So one should be able to safely assume that we can read and our comprehension is fairly good. Which may well be the case if we are not reading something written by a person whom, I assume, wishes to take the reader on a tour of the neighbour of where the trail might be - if you can ever find it!
2.00 pm: "Which road do I take?" driver utters at intersection which has two traffic circles and what appears to be a dozen roads leading off them.
"I think that one?"
"Which one?"
"That one!"
"Left/right/straight/slightly left/slightly right ...." voice is brisk.
"The one I'm pointing at!"
"Well I'm watching out for traffic ... so just tell me ..."
Eyes down to page of directions. Oh well ...
"Central one."
So we move around the circle and take said road.
Soon becomes apparent this is not the road that should have been taken.
"Well this ISN'T it!" driver states.
"Okay so go back ..."
"Where?"
"Rt. 12?" why I wonder do I have to explain where we have just come from.
2.05: Back on Rt. 12 doing 75 miles an hour because the faster you go the sooner you ... get completely and utterly lost.
2.10: A few words have been uttered that can not be published.
2.11: Driver pulls off road and grabs book from navigator.
2.12: “Let me LOOK.”
2.13: “I can’t see where we are!”
2.14: “Do you know where we are?”
2.14.10: “On Rt 12.”
2.14.11: “Really?” sarcastically.
2.14.12: “Yes,” sweetly acid tone.
2.14.13: “Well we have to go back to where we were.”
“Should I use the GPS?”
“That piece of .(*&^%? Why?”
2.14.16: GPS in hand I take the bold move of switching it on knowing that the end result might well be worse than anything that the guide book could create.
2.15.44: GPS agrees to give me permission to use it.
2.18.57: GPS sniggers.
2.23.12: We are heading into Sterling and I am wondering if the police are going to arrest both of us for speeding or if I can claim to be a hostage. Given the atmosphere in the car that is unlikely to fly.
2.34.11: GPS sniggers and in bold letters informs me that it can not find a satellite but should it continue searching for one?
2.34.11: Really?? I stare at the piece of plucking hits and consider if it is worth while paying a littering fine to have the satisfaction of throwing the GPS from a car going at 72 miles an hour.
2.35.17: I make a suggestion that we take the next road left and follow it.
2.46.19: Temporarily misplaced.
2.47: Silence.
2.53: Stony silence.
2.54: Very pretty scenery.
2.55: Scenery lovely. Atmosphere in car close to tropical temperatures.
2.57: Back at traffic circles on Rt 12.
2.59: Suggestion that we give up and go home.
3.00: Apparently that was an unwise suggestion.
3.02: GPS finds satellite and directs us to a road found in guide book.
3.05: After a few mishaps we find the road.
3.06: Take road and drive past a parking lot on the right. Lake on left. No sign indicates that there is a bike trail in the area.
3.08: GPS dies but before doing so suggests that it be buried deep in the woods.
3.12: Hunger is taking over from annoyance. Correction – hunger is adding to annoyance.
3.25: Pull into gas station on Rt 12. to fill car that has used almost half a tank in the space of The Quest.
3.25.17: I enter shop and wait in line to ask if anyone knows where the illusive/imaginary/fantasy bike trail might be.
3.26: Woman who clearly has no access to dental health professional offers assistance in the form of clear and extremely helpful directions. I am reminded that appearances mean little and thank her.
3.27: We drive off the wrong way.
3.28: Turn off road at 65 miles an hour and go back up …. Yes you are correct Rt. 12!!
3.31: FIND PARKING LOT THAT WE PASSED 25 MINUTES AGO IS NEXT TO BIKE TRAIL!!!
3.33: In silence bikes are taken off the car and I cycle off followed by muttering Best Beloved.
3.40: All is forgotten as we discover the beauty of the Sterling Rail Trail.
For directions – ask me I know the area as if I spent an entire afternoon taking a mystery tour of it! But it was worth it.
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