Memory is a funny thing. For me it comes and goes ... well sort of ... maybe ... I think it does, but then again ... Anyway what was I saying - oh yes memory. Modern medicine has alerted us to the fact that at any time in life if we have issues about short term memory we should be concerned. Of course not being able to remember where you put your keys on occasion is normal but every second day could be a sign that there is something amiss. So we have all become much more aware of memory in a sense that we panic if we can not recall a name, a face, an event. Forgetting events, people, names, places is part of life. What is important to one person is not necessarily important to another and so the brain stores different things in its memory bank. I am always amazed by how much my eldest daughter can recall. She has stored up so many of the family memories that I think of her as the archivist of the family. When we are together she will mention things of which I have absolutely no memory. She will give details of who was present, what was eaten, who wore what and I will stare blankly at her wondering if I was there. Slowly, extremely slowly, a dim memory will rise to the surface. I will blink. Think for a very long moment. Consider for half an hour and then nod as if the memory has fully surfaced all the time wondering if she is aware that I have a very vague memory of the event. I have always been aware that I remember facts from a book far more readily than I do small life events. Ask me about the Napoleonic Wars and the chances are that I can give you a fair amount of detail. Ask me about a party eight years ago and I will pause ... and wait hopefully for a key to be offered to the memory.
Which is where music comes in. I have read that people with dementia of most kinds can still recall the words of songs which is why music is such an important part of the activities done in homes. Learning to music is, as most of us know, a good way to help recall the information. But more than that music is for me a key to some of the smallest events of my life that have acquired emotional depths over time.
When I was twenty one I was married, had a baby and was living in a small town out in the western Transvaal where everyone was either Tswana or Afrikaans. I was reprimanded in public for using a baby sling (who did I think I was, the furious man asked of me, a K.....?!), I worked in a bank where I was categorised with the Tswana workers in order to try and insult me (it didn't work since they were much more decent and kind than most of the other people with whom I worked), I did not have any form of transport and had taken to wondering into the Greek green grocery in order to exchange a few words when I was feeling particularly lonely. The song by the Doobie Brothers "What a Fool Believes" was a hit at the time. It would be played on radio stations at least a few times a day. In the evenings I would dance with my precious little Bumble to the song. Just the two of us (the Spouse was doing mostly night shifts at that time) would be in the flat. Our reflection in the windows always made me smile. Bumble would giggle as we swirled around the room. Belting out the lyrics I felt young, happy, alive. It was fantastic! And so the words may be sad but even today when I hear that song I smile. I am taken back to being a new mother dancing in the bright overhead light (we couldn't afford a standard lamp) with the pitch black night safely at bay beyond the french doors. Happy.
So iTunes has entered my life to remind me of all the memories I have accumlated throughout my 54 years that are linked to ordinary days. The Carpenters "Close to You" reminds me of doing laundry on Friday afternoons in Harare. The back door open to the garden, summer scents of the garden being watered, chickens coming to the back door in the hope of food, my sister and brother in hiding so that they did not have to help and the Carpenters singing on the radio while I held the washing machine hose in the rinse tub in order to fill it. America's "Horse with No Name" is the song of drinking Bengal juice with Cindy trying to decide what to do that evening. "Radar Love" is the Saturday song on Martin Locke's show of music videos while we got ready for the evening's fun. "Rebel, Rebel" my brother's theme song for me. "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" the 1976 song for my first year at varsity that Juanita and I would sing badly together over milo at 10 pm. Ferdinand the Bull is the memory of my father laughing at something silly. Baby Elephant Walk my first school play in which I was water nymph since I failed to be a baby elephant (is that irony?). Up, Up and Away was playing when my parents told me that a friend of mine had died in a terrible accident when I was seven.
Sade has saved a marriage, New Young Radicals made me feel better about myself, Elton John has reminded me that saying sorry is hard but not impossible and thus my world turns. The list is long, the memories many and when they are recalled because of a melody I heard I am reminded how precious are the very ordinary moments of our lives. We each carry our own play list and we each have our own special memories linked to that list which helps us deal with the hills we climb, the valleys we have to cross and the breathlessness of the moments we share with others.
Thank you to every song writer, musician radio station and record label for making my life more easily remembered so that I have the joy of finding memories at the most unexpected moments.
Now I just have to get the theme song from Fifi and the Flowertots out of my head!
Fifi and the flowertots ... Fifi Forgetmenot ... Fifi it's a lovely day ...
To discover how you can become infected go to:
http://fifi-flowertots.littletoons.co.uk/
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