Cloud Cuckoo

I like diamonds. I have some in a 25th anniversary ring that are lovely. When the ring was purchased I tried to make sure that the diamonds were not blood diamonds. The jeweller assured me that they were from South Africa and legally obtained at a fair market price. Of course "fair market" is a term that should make any buyer flinch, especially a person from the region who took political science, history and anthropology at a university in the country whence the diamonds are from. Still the ring was purchased and worn to symbolise a quarter century of marriage. Up until then I had only one very small diamond in a ring that my daughters had given me as a birthday present. The new ring was bright, special, and a reminder of what I held dear on the day I said my vows.

When I pass a jewelry store my eyes glance across the display cabinets and sometimes I stop and take a closer look at the contents. There are the new rings with the chocolate diamonds that look pretty but are generally of very poor quality. Earrings, bracelets, pendants all sparkle under the lights and whisper of love and romance. Which is why, I suppose, women like jewelry. There is the sparkly factor and the sheer beauty of a gem stone. More women buy jewelry for themselves now than ever before. A good thing, in my opinion, as these items remain special regardless. I have known women to give away ever item of jewelry bought for them by a husband/lover/boyfriend when the relationship has ended. Does ill will go with the items? Do the curses you call down upon the head of your lover who returned to his wife go on to the next owner of the bracelet he gave you? Perhaps a cleansing ceremony is called for when ever one buys a piece of jewlery from an antique dealer.

Which brings me to the subject at hand. I was listening to a conversation a few weeks ago when I heard someone say that your dearly departed can now be turned into a diamond. Okay a man made diamond but a diamond! Egads, I muttered to myself. Alright I admit that the word came out loudly and caused some degree of puzzlement but really - turn a loved one into a diamond! A pet, a wife, a parent ... which one should I wear today? The group of women I was with when this conversation arose were amused, shocked, disgusted and in some cases a little distressed by the thought of having themselves, or anyone else, thus preserved.

I suppose it is one way to remember someone but it seems a little ghoulish to me. I do not want to wear my dearly departed Jet nor do I want to be worn. Cremation Jewelry, as it is called, is - in my opinion - macabre. It seems to be less a celebration of a life than some sort of Victorian style fascination with death. Would such jewelry assist the medium as they communicate with the departed? If there is an after life and we are conscious of what has gone before then I think I might be offended and a little annoyed to have had my earthly remains used to make a diamond for some one else to wear. What is the etiquette for giving or receiving such an item? The mind boggles with the scenarios that can be imagined.

It seems that we have become a society that thinks that because we can do something we should regardless of anything other than the curiosity factor and the cash reward. Man made gems have been around for decades. Up until now they have been inoffensive but I wonder when stores will start selling pendants and rings made from a locket of hair of Brittany, Cher, Johnny and the endless cast of the gossip magazines and tv shows. Of course I am under no illusions that there will be people who will buy such items and wear them with pride. The deceased will have to be protected by new laws and their last resting place will become high security cemeteries with armed guards patrolling the perimeters. I sense an Egads coming on!

Oh well I am off to place an ad as an expert spiritual cleanser of jewelry. All bad atmospheric vibrations will be removed, your jewelry will bring you only peace and happiness (after you have paid the $175 fee), $300 special fee to remove grandma's bad juju from the ring you had made from her earthly remains. Call 1-978-555-6543 or send e-mail to: jujuremover@whatthehellaretheythinking.com ...