My very brave son-in-law has begun a new journey. He has always wanted to attempt stand-up comedy and last night took the first very brave step on that journey. The night was dark and stormy and very wet but Bryan put his car into drive and roared off into the night.
He stood up on the stage and in front of strangers and near strangers he did a five minute routine. I asked him what it felt like and he said that he thinks it would be easier to face a jury on murder charges than the first minute of a stand-up act. Still he did it and not a single person had to die or be harmed. I admire him for taking that first step and I am certain that he is going to continue fulfilling his dream. He might become a favourite on Comedy Central or he might do routines around New England or he might be the next big thing but he will always remember last night. No one can ever take that away from him. He confronted his fears and stepped into the small spotlight determined to give his dream a chance.
We all have dreams. If I think back to my childhood I recall some of the more crazy ones: war correspondent (by now I would be in a padded cell ducking imaginary bullets), corporate lawyer (this one would require smart dressing, yes-saying and I imagine turning the occasional blind eye so by now I would be ... unemployed), actor (my few attempts proved that I am shy and lacking in talent), cartographer (ah .. this might have been a good one but life took another avenue), archaeologist (this I should have done ... where was that guidance teacher when I needed her), historian ... this one was possible but I waylaid myself and the list begins to head towards academia and yawns for most people. I did have a few moments where I thought of stand-up comedy but I realised that I can play the fool, be taken for a fool but am not capable of being a comedian. There is a difference folks.
I never wanted to be in medicine in any shape or form. When I was desperately seeking employment a few years ago I did turn to the hospital sites where jobs were available in the area of registration. I put in applications and, perhaps for the better, was never granted an interview. I am exactly the sort of person you do not wish to see when there is blood gushing from a wound, you are vomiting, have a temperature of 103. First of all the three pairs of gloves, two masks and full hazmat suit might be a little alarming. Then the gagging noises and damp eyes behind the goggles might be upset patients a little. My hearing has been affected since I had chemo and by now I would be asking you to spell words such as yes, ten ... Patients would flee to other hospitals - actually maybe some one like that is worth employing in the ER. I should get into the gear and send a picture with my next application.
I respect doctors and nurses, radiologists, hospital vampires and all who make hospitals places that save lives but I really do not want to be near or in a hospital unless I, or a loved one, require the attentions of a doctor. My daughters will vouch for me when I say that I am not a good nurse. Human fluids are gross. I am sympathetic and caring but when the bathroom calls let me know when you are finished. I will pass you a mop and disinfectant through the partially opened door even when you have to crawl back to bed. "You missed a spot!" are not words one should shout out to a sick person but then again unless you are two or blind the loo is not invisible nor are you to small to lean over it!
I have a friend who works as a dental hygienist. She has been doing it for about forty years and I respect her tenacity. The human mouth is, well fill of fluids and teeth and there is that tongue thing that is best left behind closed teeth. What inspires me about this person is that she not allowed herself to be classified by others as a hygienist. She does beautiful calligraphy, paints wonderful water colours, has shows and does all sorts of artistic things that inspire me. Her home is full of colour and light and she cooks like a dream. She is living proof that what pays the rent is not what you are. You have to respect a person who has grown her talents and abilities throughout her life time. When the rest of us slump on the couch she is bent over a light board practising a new font. When we are sitting on the beach considering if we should take a stroll she has her camera out and is capturing sights that she will paint when winter comes. Now that is living!
So Bryan I congratulate you for stepping out of your comfort zone. May you emulate my friend and never stop seeing within yourself the possibilities that you dream about when the sky is bright and cloudless. It is those dreams, when acted upon, that will make you able to lie awake in the middle of the night when you are fifty, sigh, roll over and go to sleep knowing that you never surrendered to the doubts that we each silently carry.
Now if you will all excuse me I must find a spade and head off into the wild blue yonder ... no GPS required!
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